Old Trapper’s College Baseball Scouting Report

When I close my eyes, I can still hear the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd, and the scent of fresh-cut grass mixed with the unmistakable aroma of smoked meats wafting through the air.

My days playing college baseball at SMU—Smoked Meats University, of course—were some of the best of my life. Back then, I wasn’t just a ballplayer; I was a force to be reckoned with.

Scouts came from far and wide to watch me swing the bat, studying my every move, whispering about my potential as the next great pro.

Sound like a tall tale? Well, that’s fair enough. That’s why I keep a copy of my college baseball free agent report on hand, to take out when I’m feeling nostalgic.

Old Trapper’s College Baseball Free Agent Report (Definitely Real)

Player: Trapper, T.O. Position: All of Them Current Address: The Wilderness

D.O.B.: Unknown Age: Old? Height: 6’3” (maybe more?) Weight: A lean 205

Bats: Switch Throws: Switch School: Smoked Meats University

Rating Key: 80 - Outstanding; 70 - Very Good, 60 - Above Average, 50 - Average, 40 - Below Average, 30 - Well Below Average

Known Injuries or Defects: Multiple cougar or bear bite scars.

Physical Description

Tall, muscular build. Heavily bearded. Large hands. Piercing blue eyes that seem to stare into your very soul.

Strong Points

Powerful hitter. Faster than the blazes. Can throw the baseball a country mile. Skilled fielder. Wise beyond his years. Caring. Unlimited access to delicious beef jerky (http://shop.oldtrapper.com/).

Weak Points

Comes and goes as he pleases? Not sure where to send mail or pro contract checks.

Summation

A true can’t miss prospect. The first six-tool player this scout has ever seen. Our organization should leverage every available asset to acquire T.O. Trapper in the draft, as this free agent would immediately become the best player on the team. The only challenge will be to pry him away from his lucrative beef jerky endeavors. Maybe offer an ownership stake?

Moving on to Smokier, Meatier Things

Yes, my college baseball days sure were halcyon. As for prying me away from my beef jerky endeavors, well, the heart wants what it wants: while the dream of pro ball was tempting, I knew deep down that my real passion lay elsewhere.

Baseball was in my blood, but so was something even greater—crafting the world’s best beef jerky. The same discipline, patience, and relentless pursuit of excellence that made me a great ballplayer fueled my desire to create the perfect snack for hard-working folks everywhere. So, while others went from college baseball to chase the bright lights of the big leagues, I rolled up my sleeves, fired up the smokehouse, and got to work building my jerky empire.

College Baseball Still Lives in My Heart

Still, just because I hung up my cleated moccasins doesn’t mean I ever left the game. Baseball and softball are part of who I am, and so supporting college baseball and softball athletics just made plain and simple sense.

I’m proud to throw my support behind college athletes in the Big 12 Conference, Big Ten Conference, and Mountain West Conference. I know firsthand the determination and long hours that athletes put into their craft because I put the same dedication into every bag of beef jerky I make. That’s why Old Trapper proudly supports college baseball and women’s softball, ensuring that the next generation of student-athletes has the resources, recognition, and fuel to succeed.

There’s something special about college athletics—the purity of the game, the camaraderie, the unrelenting drive to be the best. It’s the same spirit that built my beef jerky company from the ground up, and it’s why I invest in these programs. I may not have taken the path to the pros, but in my own way, I’m still part of the game. And as long as there’s college softball and baseball to be played, Old Trapper will be there, supporting the players, the teams, and the spirit of competition that makes college athletics great.