Whats is a Zoom and How Do I Use it?
Friends, over the last few weeks certain international events have forced many of us to retreat inside our homes and drastically reduce our levels of face-to-face communication.
Years ago, this would have been no problem. I would have simply disappeared into the forest, only to communicate via carrier pigeon and the occasional smoke signal. Oh how things have changed.
Today I'm the face of one of the country's most well regarded beef jerky companies. And because people rely on my cheerful presence, it's no longer possible to just disappear like Santa Claus on Christmas morning.
Plus, it's getting harder and harder to find reliable carrier pigeons these days.
I Dislike Technology
What's a trapper to do? Well, I've recently taken up video conferencing to stay connected with the world outside. And I don't mind saying that it is THE WORST! Zoom, Hangouts, MindJoin, Slack, Teams, UberConference… They’re all terrible. I even made up one name in that list. Bet you can’t guess which one.
Everyone talks over each other, I have to stare at my (admittedly lovely) mug for hours on end, and don't get me started on this thing called buffering.
Fortunately, I'm an optimist who's always motivated to find the best in any situation. That's why I asked a designer friend to create a few customized backgrounds you can use during your next video conference. I think each one expresses something a little different.
The, "I'm Here but I'd Rather Be Somewhere Else" Background
This masterpiece sends the clear message that you're here, engaged, and ready to work, but would much prefer to be taking in the majesty of creation somewhere outside.
Perfect for: nature lovers, intellectuals, burnout cases, and admirers of handsome spokespersons.
The "Could This Meeting Have Been an Email" Background
We've all been in meetings that could have easily been replaced by a succinct email. This background broadcasts your displeasure at having to take time from your busy day so that Chad from purchasing can feel like he's accomplished something important today.
Perfect for: theater fans, people who have trouble setting clear boundaries in the workplace, admirers of handsome brand spokespersons
The "I Played a Little Ball in College" Background
Alas, sports are not happening at this current time, which has left a gigantic hole in many people's lives. This background broadcasts your keen interest in athletic pursuits, and may even prompt the question, "hey, did you ever play?" Answer away, my friend. Answer away.
Perfect for: sports fans, humble braggers, fans of athletic beef jerky spokespersons.
The "Show 'Em Who the Real Boss Is" Background
Of course, some people prefer to broadcast their affinity for food, and who could blame them? This background puts my tasty brand of beef jerky on full display. Just by looking at this picture, you can almost imagine every savory bite. Is it lunchtime yet, because I'm going to need to sign off soon.
Perfect for: Geniuses, philanthropists, saints, snack enthusiasts
Let's Make the Most of This
It's impossible to know how long video conferencing will reign supreme. But until some other means of communication arises, we're stuck with this very imperfect tool. Hopefully, these fashionable backgrounds will make your online experiences a little bit more pleasurable.