No card or gift or bouquet would be adequate recognition for all you've done for me over these many, many, many years. It must have been a trial motherin' an Old Trapper, even when he was young. From the very beginnin' I possessed an independent mind and a reckless heart, the combination of which must have made for many a heart-stoppin' moment. Like the time I tracked that Grizzly Bear to it's den because I wanted to play with her cubs, or the time I accidentally started the Great Fire of 1910 after I'd invented the first model rocket and was less than judicious regarding my choice of launchin' pads. No matter my youthful indiscretions, you love for me never wavered.
Mother's Day Love
Though nothing I can do would truly repay your selflessness through the years, I can show my appreciation by giving you my service this Mother's Day, and by presenting you with the gift everyone wants, delicious beef jerky. After all, these perfect smoked morsels are the culmination of my life's work, which was all made possible by you.