Here in North America, we're about to witness one of the truly awe-inspiring celestial events: a total solar eclipse. My own home state of Oregon is fortunate enough to sit squarely in the path of totality (which is just a fancy way of saying "total") and as such, we'll have a front-row seat for this spectacular happening.
Now there hasn't been a total solar eclipse that was visible from these United States in quite some time, and as a result, some of ya'll might need a little eclipse-viewing advice. Fortunately, this Old Trapper is here to help.
Tip #1: Protect Your Neck
By some estimates, 75% of eclipse viewers will suffer some manner of neck injury as a result of craning to view this rare event.* Now as exciting as this all may be, it's just not worth the heartache of stiff, achy muscles. To prevent this, I suggest finding a comfortable patch of grass and lying flat on your back. You'll enjoy the view in comfort and style.
Tip #2: Don't Sweat It
There is quite a bit of superstition surrounding a total eclipse. Many ancient cultures saw them as harbingers of bad luck. Fortunately, these days we know better than to look to the stars for our future. So if you do happen to suffer a string of bad luck after viewing the eclipse, don't fret. You probably just walked under a ladder.
Tip #3: No Sun Staring!
While some might think this goes without saying, I wouldn't be doing my trapperly duties where I not to warn all my loyal readers that they are NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to look directly at the sun. Instead, find a fashionable pair of certified viewing sunglasses so you can witness the event and then find your way back to your car with a working set of eyes.
Most importantly, have fun and take a few minutes to ponder our small place in this huge universe. Because if you think about it that way, all this is pretty remarkable.
*This is a rough estimate