The Olympics: Trapper Style

Hello Friends,

It's hard to believe, but another four years have passed and the Summer Olympics are once again upon us. By my rough count, this will be the 26th summer Olympics I've experienced, so the novelty has worn off a bit. After all, once you've witnessed the '20 games in Antwerp, every other sporting experience pales in comparison. As such, I've developed a list of possible new sporting pursuits that could serve to rejuvenate the Olympic experience. Each one has been extensively tested by yours truly and I would be more than happy to serve as a consultant for the IOC should they decide to implement my recommendations.

Log Jumping

This exciting new sport combines the athleticism of high hurdles with the endurance of long distance running. The real excitement, however, comes from the inclusion of a live Grizzly Bear pursuing contestants throughout the course. Fall behind pace and it will be the last time you ever compete. Now those are some stakes!

Dugout Canoeing

Those lightweight fiberglass canoes are really only suitable for infants and casual boaters. Real athletes pilot thousand-pound dugout canoes forged from actual elm trees through Class VII rapids (most people think it only goes to Class VI Those people would be wrong) using only their hands to steer. First one down the river wins!

Shooting

I am aware there are already several different Olympic shooting competitions, but I'd sure like to bump the difficulty level up a bit. Let's at least shoot blades of grass out the mouths of Elk at 5,000 ft. You know, at least an intermediate level of difficulty.

Let's Do This

These are nothing more than humble suggestions but I do believe each of these sports would be a colossal hit. And as I said previously, I'd be more than happy to serve as an official Olympic consultant/inaugural triple gold medal winner.

All My Best,