These Three Things Terrify T.O. Trapper

  • by T.O. Trapper
  • 2 min read


You could be forgiven for thinking me fearless. After all, my public persona portrays me as a derring-do hero who faces down every challenge with an unconcerned grin. While this might be true in some instances, it's largely (effective) branding. I'm human and do experience fear from time-to-time. In fact, these things terrify me most:


Now you may be thinking, "Trapper, impoliteness seems more like one of your famous 'beefs'. Something more annoying than terrifying." While this is an understandable point-of-view, allow me to explain. 

Perhaps more than anything, politeness undergirds our entire civil society. Imagine a world where everyone says and does whatever they want without any consideration for others. Chaos and strife would rule! In fact, if our society's politeness levels fall too low, I'll be planning my next extended wilderness excursion.

Apex Predators

As a notable Man of the Wilderness, you might think I enjoy a rapport with all God's creatures. Not so! And while I usually refrain from ascribing common characteristics to large groups, I make an exception for these born killing machines. 

If I catch sight of a Honey Badger, Great White Shark, or even the majestic Golden Eagle, you can rest assured I'll be moving in the opposite direction. How do you think I've managed to become such an old Old Trapper? Certainly not by picking fights...


They say you fear the things you don't understand, and that's certainly true for Vegetarianism. Why someone would forego the simple pleasure of a well seasoned piece of beef is, frankly, beyond my comprehension. Now don't misunderstand me. I hold hate in my heart for no man. But I certainly wouldn't trust a vegetarian with my lunch order. 

Don't Think Less of Me

Now I hope this honest admission won't cause you to respect me any less. It's my firm believe that fear isn't a weakness. On the contrary, it's an effective tool that can be used to keep us alive. And that, more than anything, is what I wish for us all. 

All My Best,