Cats Rule. There. I Said It.

Hello Friends,

Since my emergence from the wilderness some 18 months ago, I've discovered many new joys associated with the modern way of life, like Basketball, Twitter, and fancy to-do lists. But until very recently, I've hesitated to do any kind of real settlin' down. Call it a deeply ingrained wanderlust or maybe just an old fashioned fear of commitment. Either way, apart from runnin' this here beef jerky empire, I've kept pretty much to myself.

The Cat's Meow

Now spendin' too much time alone ponderin' the complexities of one's own mind can lead to some mighty strange thoughts and recently one of my most trusted employees suggested it might be in my best interest to get a pet. Now y'all are well aware of my complicated relationship with big cats, but after careful consideration I decided a small to medium cat couldn't possibly pose much of a threat. I'm a pretty big fella' after all. So I wandered down to our local Humane Society and adopted the cutest little critter you ever did see. I named him Smoke, for obvious reasons.

Cats Are the Best

After spendin' countless hours with my newest buddy, I'm prepared to say that (small to medium) cats are the best. Here's why:

• Independence: Like any good mountain man, a cat is called to care for his needs alone. You won't see no cat beggin' for food or belly scratches or attention from their owner. Your average cat is happy simply watchin' its own tail swing back and forth. I appreciate that.
• Curiosity: Now those without vision often chalk this up as a negative but I disagree. Curiosity fosters growth and I applaud our feline friends in their attempts at self-improvement.
• Hygiene: A proper gentleman is a clean gentleman and my boy Smoke keeps himself in tip-top shape. Now there's an idea... I should find a little top hat for him to wear.

In Closing

Now I promise y'all I won't be one of "those" pet owners who'll clog your Facebook feed with photos of my little dude and our adventures but I did want to share the news because I do think of y'all out there in the digital intertubes as my extended family. Now if you wouldn't mind, please purchase an item or four in my web store. I have a son to feed now.

All My Best,