Being one of the world’s foremost experts on high protein meat snacks comes with a lot of responsibility. Sometimes, it involves weighing in on whether beef sticks or beef jerky is the superior snack. Other times, I have to list the best beef stick flavors. Occasionally, I’m asked to answer the (almost) unanswerable question, why is beef jerky so good? A lesser man might bend under the tremendous pressure of his own expertise. Fortunately, I’m not a lesser man.
Today, It's a Historical Question
What are the best high protein meat snacks of all time? Now, I could comb through a pile of dusty books searching for primary source material relating to historical snacking habits. But that sounds unnecessarily tedious. Instead, I will serve as my own primary source and list what I believe are the best high protein meat snacks of all time based on my own (long) lived experience. Here we go:
1. Brontosaurus Ribs
Fred Flinstone had it right in that old cartoon when he ordered the giant rack of brontosaurus ribs that tipped over his foot-powered stone-aged car. Not only are brontosaurus ribs large, which means you’ll never go hungry after a meal of dinosaur BBQ, but they’re also jam-packed with protein. On the downside, brontosaurus has a gamey flavor chefs can only overcome with copious seasoning and mystery sauces.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “Old Trapper, how do you know what brontosaurus tastes like considering the terrible lizards died out 150 million years ago, and some experts argue they never even existed at all but instead entered popular culture thanks to a naming mistake made by paleontologist Othniel Charles Marshwhich in 1877?” To that, I reply, "don’t worry about it."
2: Passenger Pigeon Pot Pie
Forget chicken and turkey. When it comes to fowl food, this Old Trapper prefers squab. I’m no food snob, though. Rather than feasting on a roasted bird, I prefer my pigeon cooked into a savory meat pie seasoned with heaps of fresh herbs and vegetables. It’s a working man’s meal that’s both hearty and delicious, which makes it one of the best high protein meat snacks of all time.
Unfortunately, passenger pigeons are a bit hard to come by these days. And it will be a cold day in the devil’s home when I’d dine on the city-dwelling winged rodents that pass for pigeons these days. Instead, I’m left to pine for the good old days at Mother Trapper’s kitchen table when passenger pigeons were plentiful and savory meat pies were always in the oven.
3. Old Trapper Beef Jerky
While brontosaurus ribs and passenger pigeon pot pie are among the best high protein meat snacks, they fail in a few crucial ways. For example, they are both hard to procure, which can inhibit easy snacking. If you are lucky enough to find these products, they’re also not portable, which, again, inhibits snacking. That’s why I always reach for Old Trapper for easy beef jerky protein.
This snack is flavorful, tender, easily portable, and jam-packed with beef jerky nutrition. That’s why I rank beef jerky asthe best high-protein meat snack. More importantly, Old Trapper Beef Jerky is available in almost any grocery or convenience store you might wander into. That means no time travel will be necessary to obtain this next-level meat snack. Sounds like a winner to me.
A High Protein Meat Snack Expert
And now we’ve arrived at the end of another one of my classic beef jerky missives, which, hopefully, you’ve found both delightful and entertaining. I’ve gained a lot of snack-related knowledge over my long life, and it pleases me to no end to share it with readers like you. Until next time, happy snacking!